Forgive and forget… this is a popular line used by lots of people especially when giving advice, but it’s not one that is easily followed.
Forgiving someone who has done something hurtful and bad to us is not easy. But it usually can be done, though it may require some time. Even though we’ve forgiven someone for the wrong they’ve done, we can never really forget, at least not completely. Our mind can be sharp when it comes to these things. Especially if someone has hurt us BIG time. We can never really forget the pain and the fact that it has happened to us.
What’s the difference between forgiving and forgetting, anyway? If you’ve forgiven someone, doesn’t it automatically mean that you’re willing to forget everything that happened? What does forgiveness entail? Forgiveness is a process and it may take a long time, some even take forever before the resentment and the anger subsides. Forgiveness means that you choose not to punish that person because of what that person has done to you. But giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to forget.
It’s not a matter of holding a grudge, it’s just that once the damage has been done, it can never be undone. It can be improved and healed, yes, but it can never be undone. In other words, you can forgive the person, but you can’t forget what they did. It will stay with you forever, but what changes is how you deal with your emotions. Over time, the pain, disappointment and anger may diminish. It will come to a point wherein it becomes just a distant thought with no more emotional impact. Nevertheless, it will enter your mind… someday, you’ll look back… especially during the times in your life when you’re forced to recall it. But then you’re in control. Because it doesn’t affect you like it used to. And this is when you can say that you’re stronger, because of what you’ve been through and because of what you had to endure.
That’s why I can say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. “Forgive, but never forget“. Now, that’s more like it. Wouldn’t you agree?
Do you find it easy to forgive?
